‘Creepy Guy’ Worries Downtown Parents


Downtown parenting group Bowery Babes is all atwitter about a guy who has been hanging around Thompson Square Park, interacting with kids in a weird way, and generally being a “Creepy Guy.” Said one poster:

Not to be alarmist, but Katia V and I were outside the café opposite the 1st & 1st playground today with Harmonie and Isabel. This guy approached them and stood right above them, staring without noticing Katia and I. He was wearing a light, loose linen suit and had shaved the moustache; his hair was all loose and gray. He was carrying a black backpack (open a little) stuffed full of those little beanie animals with the heart tags that say “ty” on them—I think—the ones you usually see at pharmacies and stuff. In the other hand he was carrying a black bag—which looked like a camera bag. When he noticed us, he asked if they (the girls) were ours and how many we had. Katia gave him the death stare and he backed away and shot down the street—no looking back!

They’re encouraging anyone to call 911 if they see him. But honestly, we don’t know what everyone’s getting so bent out of shape about.

First of all, let’s consider all the possibilities: Maybe he is an amateur photographer who happens to collect Beanie Babies. Maybe he’s like Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button and aging backward. (Has anyone considered that?) Even if he is a Genuine Creep, at least he’s open about it, enough to engage the parents in actual conversation. Look, dealing with guys like this is just a part of life. We don’t even know who we’d be if we hadn’t experienced Scully the Town Flasher and, later, the Science Teacher That Gave Inappropriate Shoulder Massages. Probably not a reflexively sarcastic blogger with a persistent drinking problem, that’s for sure! Anyway, here’s our advice, Moms. Just teach little Harmonie the phrase, “Oh, that’s what you’re so excited to show me, little man? The umbilical cord I came out on was bigger that.’ Works every time.