We don't know what Liz Claman of Fox Business Network said to Eliot Spitzer to get him on her show last night, but it probably wasn't, "Let me spend fifteen minutes or so pouring scalding wax on your nether regions — verbally, I mean," which is basically what she did, starting with her opening line:
First of all, I'm sitting here thinking this is a little unbelievable. Eliot Spitzer, after this unbelievable fall from grace a year and several months ago, and here you are back out again. Why are you doing this?
"I mean, what are you THINKING? How can you SHOW YOUR FACE when all everyone thinks is hookers hookers hookers prosties black socks penis penis?" Awkward.
She didn't say exactly that, but she may as well have.
From the transcript sent to us by FBN:
CLAMAN: There are people looking at you and saying, This guy made massive mistake.
SPITZER: They're right. They're right.
CLAMAN: And the Schadenfreude in New York, on Wall Street, when you went down, of, Gee, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy ...
SPITZER: You're right.
CLAMAN: There were people who were cheering this on when you went down.
CLAMAN: And I think that it struck — it struck me, for example, as very much a Reverend Jimmy Swaggart moment, I mean, the guy who gets up on the soapbox and says, Don't commit adultery, then committed adultery. How is it, in your mind, that the very people — because you went after prosecution [sic] rings — the very people you went after, you engaged in that very behavior?
SPITZER: Well, I ...
CLAMAN: How does that work in your mind?
SPITZER: Look, Liz, I've addressed this and I've said before, I am as flawed as everyone. Hopefully, no more, no less. We all make egregious mistakes. I have stood up, held myself accountable, resigned a position that I worked very hard to get. And others will judge. And I have not either hidden from that fact or shied away from accepting responsibility.
We actually started feeling bad for Spitzer, who held it together, corrected her during the multiple times she got basic facts wrong, and even managed to get in a little dig when talking about how normal, non–Fox Business News people react when they run into him: “There’s a goodness to people that is remarkable. Other than the media, people understand that we are all working hard to do our best.” Subtle! After the cameras went off, though, we imagine he ripped off his mike and exploded in a string of expletives.