Apparently, Glenn Beck had a live simulcast of his “comedy routine,” performed in Kansas City, MO, last night, beamed out to 440 theaters across the country. The Fox News host clearly knew where to perform in person: at the heart of the heartland, the saturated fat of the butter on his bread. Because here, in New York, only fourteen people showed up at the screening, according to Times critic Mike Hale, who had such a good time hating the performance that he almost seemed to love it. “Being the critic, I didn’t cheer or heckle, but I did yell at the screen once, something I don’t think I’d ever done in a movie theater,” Hale wrote. “It was 50 minutes in, when Mr. Beck announced that he was taking a fifteen-minute break and coming back for the second half of the show. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’ was out of my mouth before I knew what was happening.”
The reason Beck needed to take such a long break is because he had to execute a costume change. He came back wearing a white Colonial wig and britches and talked, naturally, about the Founding Fathers and how they were just like
middle-class white Midwesterners his viewers. Hale’s favorite part of the experience, though, was when an old lady accidentally wandered into the screening room:
“What’s the name of this movie?” I knew it was a losing proposition, but I whispered, “It’s Glenn Beck’s comedy show.” Bewildered, she looked at the screen, where the credits had started to roll. “Oh, well, it’s over,” she said. “What movie are you trying to see?” I asked. “That museum movie—the one where the old statues come to life,” she said. “You’re definitely in the wrong theater,” I said. Actually, I thought, you’re not that far off.
Zing! Apparently Beck didn’t cry during the comedy routine, but let’s see how he does with more reviews like this.