How Would Georgina Sparks React to Being Attacked by Ashlee Simpson?

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At the end of this season of Gossip Girl, viewers were robbed of an elaborate torture scene in which evil genius Georgina Sparks took down minor con woman Poppy Lifton. We've been left to suffer through the summer wondering how, exactly, Sparks would have dealt with the skinny socialite who had so offended her. Now, thank God, we have a real-life drama that might just supply us with some facsimile of an explanation. According to Perez Hilton, sometime singer and celebrity sister Ashlee Simpson picked a fight Monday night in Los Angeles. The victim of her attacks, which were allegedly both verbal and nearly physical, was Michelle Trachtenberg, the ex-girlfriend of Simpson's husband, Pete Wentz, and the actress who plays Sparks on the Greatest Show of Our Time. "I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!" Simpson reportedly hollered at Trachtenberg, while sloppily giving Wentz a lap dance. Eventually, she had to be restrained from going after her, Perez claims. "I've never said bad things about you," Trachtenberg blithely replied. "I'm happy for you guys."

Now, we can imagine Georgina responding this way at first. After all, she did just spend a year in Jesus Camp. But this façade of niceness would quickly crumble in the limo ride back home, and soon enough the maniacal plotting would begin. Since we have trouble trying to purposefully don't differentiate between Gossip Girl characters and the real-life actors who play them, we'd like to believe that somewhere, Trachtenberg is carefully crafting her revenge. Commenters, what do you think — how would Georgina Sparks take down Ashlee Simpson? Here are some suggestions to get you started:

• A good ol' Nairtini to the back of her hippie hairdo
• An invitation to the opera, but with the wrong address and theater location
• A Central Park parent trap in which Joe Simpson ends up sending Ashlee away to a reform school
• At a key casting call, a blurted admission of how Simpson once killed somebody
• A quick incineration of all of her clothes in a Lower East Side garbage can
• Or possibly the easiest maneuver, a vague mention of "what happened on Santorini," which is never explained or followed up upon, but which succeeds in sending Ashlee to Dubai forever

Ashlee Simpson Attacks Pete Wentz's Ex! [Perez Hilton]