Ivanka Trump Will Distract You With Her Bosoms and Then Take All Your Money


No, really, that's her business "technique" with people who see her as a "flunky" and "Daddy's little girl," according to a magazine called Ali, which we can only hope is published by or at least tangentially related to the famous butt-leak–causing diet drug. And it works! Ivanka kicks ass in the boardroom:

Her technique, apparently, is to let them think that for as long as possible, believing that these misjudgments and blind spots give her more power at the negotiating table. She is able to wrong-foot them and take advantage of the situation.

Finance blog Clusterstock, which excerpted this portion of the feature, finds this to be further evidence of Ivanka being "weirdly smart," which really sets our feminine parts aflame, because, hello: She went to Chapin! She went to Wharton. And, like, actually graduated without incident (so far as we know)! If she was smart it wouldn't be weird. What's weird is that apparently she's kind of not that smart, or at least, only relatively smart, and thus has to use her hotness to trick people. GOD. We know pointing this out makes us sound fat, but really, it had to be said.

Ivanka Trump Explains Her Secret Rope-A-Dope Business Technique [Clusterstock]