The Tale of the Madoff Sons

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Ponzi hot? Photo: Vanity Fair

Not since Princess Diana has Vanity Fair been so thoroughly captivated by a subject as they are with L'Affair Madoff. Every month, it feels like, they examine the swindle from a different angle, like its a precious stone. First, there was the attempt to get inside the head of the Man Himself; then the Disgrace of the Family Noel; and the Secretary Who Told Bawdy Tales, and now this month, David Margolick has focused on Madoff's sons, Andrew and Mark. We have to say, we are kind of loving it. Even though some of the scenes that keep coming up are the same (like the infamous Rosa Mexicana Christmas party the night before Madoff's arrest), the different points of view mean there are always new and interesting tidbits. It's like the freaking Canterbury Tales, or something! "Page Six" excerpted some of the juicier bits this morning, and this afternoon we got a hard copy and picked our favorite bits.

A More Complete Picture of What Happened the Night Andrew Punched Out a Former Trader From His Dad's Firm
(As previously reported in various tabloids.) According to VF, the trader, Reed Abend, spotted Andrew outside of East Side Poultry and started screaming at him.

"Where's my money? he demanded.... "We know you stole the money! It's obvious you took it! You're a criminal!" By now Andrew had reached the car, where his fiancee, Catherine Hooper, sat in the front seat. "Is that your new whore girlfriend?" Abend demanded. With that, Andrew Madoff stopped, placed his chicken down on the hood, and socked Abend on the side of the head. Then he got into his car and drove off. Abend shouted for help to no avail. Later, he tried to file a report with the police. More remarkably, Andrew also contacted the police—to hand himself in."

Chivalry! We kind of like this kid, we can't help it.

Mark Madoff Is "The Hip One"
... Because he lived downstairs from Bon Jovi and Andrew Balazs, in Soho. Also:

Mark is said to be obsessed with the scandal, huddled over his computer, hyper-scrutinizing every story and blog-posting he can find.

Hi, Mark! More on you later.

Evidence Andrew Madoff's Fiancée Catherine Hooper Is a Little Bit Awesome, No. 1
She posed "scantily clad" in Fish and Fly magazine (they are all heavy into fly fishing)

Evidence Andrew Madoff's Fiancée Catherine Hooper Is a Little Bit Fun, No. 2
Andrew's birthday, April 8, Catherine gave him a card: "Hope you have a fun day doing all the things people in prison wish they could do," it said.

"I wish I had my parents back," he told her. "Yeah," she is said to have replied. "They were a really nice idea."

This Absurd Sentence From David Margolick
[To be read aloud, if possible, in a stentorian voice] "If their luck holds, the brothers will enjoy the same fate as their salmon and striped bass and bluefish: After wriggling and bucking and fighting for their lives, they'll be thrown back into the water, scared and scarred but at least free to swim away."

This Picture of Mark Madoff

Ponzi hot, am I right?