LiLo’s off the hook for supposedly stealing $500,000 worth of Dior jewels. And she and Paris Hilton hate that Jon and Kate Gosselin are snagging all the tabloid covers. Madonna is having Gwyneth Paltrow decorate her Malawian daughter’s bedroom. Because now Gwyneth does everything that previously required the handling of experts. Another challenging journalistic task for Sean Avery: He (and supermodel Hilary Rhoda) covered the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival for Fuse TV. Roberto Cavalli, Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza, and a homeless guy all chatted outside Nobu. Then Cavalli slipped the bum a few hundred bucks. A slim Jessica Simpson dined on calamari and rigatoni at Serafina.
White House social secretary Desirée Rogers celebrated her 50th with Michelle Obama at the Source, Wolfgang Puck’s D.C. eatery. Dylan Ratigan is covering the MSNBC newsroom with “Team Ratigan” signs, even though he hasn’t started working there yet. And NBC might be calling Conan O’Brien “the new king of late night,” but he’s still the best thing that ever happened to Letterman. Brian Grazer is remaking The Bride of Frankenstein, and apparently the leading monster’s going to have “sex appeal,” kind of like those slutty-vampire Halloween costumes. Sean Penn backed out of two prime movie roles, got back together with Robin Wright Penn (again), and says he’s putting his career on hold to focus on his family.
Michelle Pfeiffer partied with Donald Trump, Richard Meier, Kathy Bates, and Bruce and Demi’s daughters (what?) at Cheri’s Hudson Hotel after-party. Mariah Carey will make her debut on the London stage next spring. 50 Cent celebrated the settling of his lawsuit (over renovations on his Connecticut mansion) by dropping $33,000 on Tom Ford suits. Justin Timberlake delivered some inspiring words at Tenjune to launch his new tequila, 901 Silver. “We should all believe in something, and I believe it’s time for another shot of tequila.” French soccer star Yohan Gourcuff snuggled up to Givenchy model Marie Steiss at Macao Trading Co. Nick Hornby vacationed in Ibiza with his current wife and his ex-wife, saying “I think after about three therapy sessions I’ll return to functional.” Then he went outside for a cigarette. Cher supports her daughter’s sex change. Prince William wants to follow Prince Harry to war. And Harry forgot William’s birthday.