Madonna Wins Ownership Over Soul of Human Child

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Soon enough, Mercy James will be living in the spacious townhouse her new adopted mother recently bought on the UES. We hope it has room enough for all her clothes.
Photo: Reuters

Despite an initial ruling denying Madonna the right to adopt 4-year-old Malawian orphan Mercy James, the pop singer will indeed be allowed to take the little girl home with her, according to British reports. The London Sun reveals (we love those London tabloids — they're always "revealing" something, like they're magicians, or Biblical prophets) that three judges have agreed to recommend Madonna be allowed to adopt the girl, and the decision will be announced next Sunday in Malawi's Supreme Court of Appeal. "All recommendations are in favour of the adoption taking place," said a Malawian source. "Mercy should start packing her bags. She's off to America." Not that we're surprised Madonna eventually won this battle with Malawi — after all, it's a nation of only 13 million citizens, and Madonna practices Ashtanga yoga. They didn't really stand a chance. But Mercy should "pack her bags"? She is a 4-year-old orphan. What exactly do we think she has lying around to pack — much less enough items to necessitate multiple bags? Must we be so bitterly caustic so soon?

Judges to show Madge Mercy [Sun UK]