A Slideshow of Michael Phelps’s Mustache Doing Various Things

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As you may know, we here at Daily Intel have a healthy appreciation for Michael Phelps's chest. It is, well, pretty much godlike — if God took the chest of David Beckham, stretched it over his head, shimmied it down and tried to squeeze all his Holy Splendor inside of it. Something we have slightly less appreciation for is Michael Phelps's mouth. Granted, it is a key and necessary part of his swimming weaponry. But we never really spent a lot of time looking at it, until that thing happened. You know what we're talking about: the mustache. Some people call it the "Splash 'Stache." We call it the "Porno Plunger." And now all we can do is look at his hairy tooth opening. And eventually, it's going to make us insane. Check out what we mean in this eye-and-other-orifice slideshow.