After months of searching for a new church having aides check for insane pastors, personally visiting a select few the Obamas have decided to join Evergreen Chapel, a nondenominational church at the Camp David presidential retreat. Why did they find it necessary to stray so far from home to find a suitable place of worship? Because for Obama, going to church in D.C. is much like going anywhere else meaning he's usually the center of attention instead of, you know, God. When Obama dropped by Nineteenth Street Baptist Church in January, lines formed outside the doors three hours before he arrived, and at St. John's worshipers snapped photos of him on their cell phones as he took communion. But as George W. Bush discovered before him, Obama won't have that problem at Evergreen Chapel, which serves only Camp David's 400 military personnel and their families and usually hosts 50 to 70 people each Sunday. Plus, Evergreen's chaplain is Johnny Cash's great-nephew, which seems like it might make going to church that much more interesting.
Update: The White House denies that Obama has made a decision.