Okay, Nobody Really Knows Who Maria Belen Chapur Is at All

By
Photo: theweek.com

It's looking like South Carolina governor Mark Sanford's mistress, the one whose "salad underneath the palm tree" he so admired, is not the woman we thought she was yesterday. Her name still appears to be Maria Belen Chapur, but she could either be the woman pictured here (The Week seems to think she is, and so does Gawker) or an entirely different, lighter brunette spotted canoodling with Sanford last week by a bar owner. According to someone who lives in her building (where a mass of press is sitting, waiting), she is "a beautiful brunette with big eyes who plays tennis on a nearby lawn and runs every morning in her neighborhood." That sounds like it could be this woman.

We're wondering how she so far has eluded the press. Is she still holed up in that apartment? Doesn't she need to get out to get food for her kids? She can't stay all her life down-at-heel, looking out of her window, staying out of the sun. She needs to choose freedom! Running around, trying everything new!

We suggest she dye her hair blonde and make a break for it.