Please Enjoy Your Two-Piece Chicken Meal, With a Side of Hawk

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Blogger D.Billy from And I Am Not Lying was eating a BBQ chicken lunch in the East Village the other day when the most peculiar thing happened: A blog post landed in his macaroni and cheese. See, blog posts are things that occasionally will find their way to you. The last time one happened to us was when we saw Ivanka Trump interact with the Puerto Rican Day Parade last weekend (and we didn't even write about it!). In this case, D. Billy was sitting inside (fittingly) Birdie's when he was paid a visit by one of Tompkins Square Park's famous hawks:

The hawk didn’t react to us apart from turning his head to look back and forth between us — even when [an] employee said: “Man, you inna wrong place, bird! Dontchu know this a chicken joint?” But after few more calm seconds, once we were just standing there trying to figure out what the hell to do next, the hawk leapt up and made a beeline through the air directly at yours truly. I executed what could only have been a remarkably awkward yell-and-dodge maneuver, and turned around to see it standing on my two-piece-with-side-and-soda combo, just chilling and looking out the window wistfully, as though a Sarah McLachlan song were playing in its head.


Eventually after some flapping around, "one of the cooks who was back there caught the hawk with his bare hands, and walked it back outside." Now, do you see what D. Billy did here? He took a naturally occurring rough blog post, added some (maybe pretend) dialogue, took some pictures, threw in a dash of self-deprecation and a reference to animals singing pop songs — and voilà! Blog magic. If only things like this happened every day. To us. Between 8 and 10 a.m. In our apartments so we didn't have to get out of bed.

Excuse Me, Waiter…? There’s a Large Bird of Prey in My Soup. [And I Am Not Lying]