The New York Post unsheathed a classic last night when they reported the story of Dawud Yaduallah (formerly known as David Hanley), a former inmate at Downstate Correctional Facility in Fishkill who says that he suffered physical and mental damage after being plagued for 55 hours by a rogue erection. The sticky situation was a side effect of a prescription drug administered by a prison nurse named (and we did not make this up) Judith Lovelace. Upon being alerted to the hard time Yaduallah was going through after fourteen hours, Lovelace allegedly told him to “apply ice” and ignored his further complaints. When he finally received hospital treatment over two days later, he claims he was left “irreparably injured” with “severe damage to his penis, including erectile dysfunction, inability to ejaculate and pain during sexual intercourse.” He’s now suing Lovelace and the facility. Beyond the pain and suffering this man went through, the most upsetting part of this story for us was not learning that having an erection for two days is actually a bad thing, or having to think about what went on during the fourteen hours before he reported the problem. It’s not even that we had to look at a picture of the guy’s face while reading the story. (Really? That’s the pose you went for?) It’s that the New York Post wrote an entire story about a life-altering marathon prison erection and they only made one boner joke. What is going on in the world?