Summer camps are locking down on swine flu, the Times informs us today. Preventative measures include requiring the use of antiseptic gel, the banning of salad bars, and the institution of horribly scary-sounding isolation tanks: “Campers who display flu symptoms will go into isolation in the negative-pressure rooms, which are designed to let air blow into the rooms when the doors open so that germs do not escape. Their parents will be called, and nurses and others who have contact with sick children will have to wear masks and gloves.” Well, that’s singularly horrifying. It seems one good thing will come out of it, though. “I’m sorry, I may have swine flu” is a great excuse to get out of making out with someone gross.