Trinity School Succumbs to Swine Flu

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First Horace Mann. Then Vogue. Now we're hearing that the Trinity School, alma mater of young Trumps and Murdochs, has closed its doors for the rest of the week owing to a brush with the dreaded swine flu. "Two kids apparently have it for sure," our source tells us. If three is a trend, then this makes it official: Swine flu is no longer a Poor Disease. Officials at the school could not be reached for comment, but worry not, readers: We at Intel intend to continue blogging the spread of this pandemic until we pass out in a pool of phlegm on our keyboards.