Augh! Star Reporter Dating Jon Gosselin Quits


Steadily crushing all that is good and honest about New York, philandering Jon & Kate Plus 8 reality star Jon Gosselin’s rampage continues. This morning, Star magazine sent out a press release triumphing that its reporter, Kate Major, was in a relationship with Gosselin, even though they’d denied it before, they only met like a week ago, he’s reportedly dating someone else, and the whole thing is extraordinarily fake-seeming. “I didn’t mean it to happen, it just did,” mewled Major, 26, in the Star story. Then, the very same day, Major quit the magazine, “citing a conflict of interest between her reporting duties for the magazine and her relationship with Jon Gosselin.” We’ve already walked you through the ways in which Major and Gosselin are baldly using one another for publicity, but this is the icing on the cake. Or, it would be, if icing weren’t delicious and instead was SOMETHING THAT PUTREFIES OUR SOULS. Enough Jon Gosselin! You challenged New York media to dare not write about you, and we caved. Now you’re just rubbing it in. Because there is no way any of this is real, true, or consistent with what Mother Nature intended. Unless, of course, you’re so well hung that you’ve been smushing all these blondes’ insides like they are just so many grapefruits on a juicer, but dude, we’ve seen you, and we’re just not buying it.