Bernie Madoff’s Lush Prison Mane


It stands to reason that a lot of men would lose their hair in prison. The stress, the diet, the fact that one would go to any lengths to discourage Nutchopper Bob in cell five from making you his bride — all could cause a man to conclude that bald is better. But down in his prison in Butner, North Carolina, Bernie Madoff's mane is apparently flourishing. According to the Post:

"When I finally looked in the mirror, I scared myself, because I haven't seen myself in four months, and my hair was everywhere," Madoff told fellow inmates last week.

There's only a handful of reasons for this kind of unrestrained growth so late in life: Madoff is blessed with a fine set of follicles, he's taking prenatal vitamins, or, more likely, the sneaky bastard has somehow managed to get a hold of Phil Spector's wig. Once a thief, always a thief.