In yesterday's installment of the Grossest Divorce of the Year, 67-year-old United Technologies chairman George David, whose 37-year-old wife is demanding $99 million, or approximately a third of his fortune, took the stand in Hartford Family Court and answered questions about purchases of lingerie he had ostensibly made for his mistress, Wendy Touton, in high style.
The Post painstakingly transcribed his conversation with his wife's lawyer for our horrortainment.
"You also made a purchase at La Perla?" the lawyer continued. "And prior to going to London, you made a purchase at La Perla in New York?"
"I don't recall," said the mogul.
"And La Perla is a women's — uh — lingerie store?"
"Bathing suits," said the mogul.
"High end?" asked the lawyer.
"I don't know enough to know that," the mogul snapped at the well-dressed lawyer, whose brightly colored socks are something of a trademark. "I suppose you know more than I do."
"Well, do you buy clothing for yourself there?" the lawyer asked, apparently trying to pin down just whose posteriors the purchased La Perlas were destined to barely cover.
"As far as I know, not," the mogul answered.
"What does that mean?" asked the lawyer.
"Well, I don't think they have clothing for men."
Personally, we think this was the wrong way to go about it, and Snazzy Brightsocks should have tripped the old man into saying the lingerie was for his mistress by asking if he preferred thongs to baby briefs, or if he was a lace or see-through-panel type of man, and what he thought of the pearl necklace thong: comfy, or no? But in the end, though, David in his inimitable way, conceded that the lingerie was for the mistress, with whom he "commenced" a relationship last July despite the fact that his wife was "importuning me to recommence the marriage." (He really talks like this, according to Andrea Peyser). But no: David said that he "held [Marie] as hard as [he] could away" in order to preserve himself for Wendy. Such a romantic, this man.