Gwyneth Paltrow Resents Scarlett Johansson’s Busty Beauty

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Gwyneth Paltrow is peeved because Iron Man 2 execs put Scarlett Johansson in the film's promo pictures instead of her. Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler had to evacuate L.A.'s Four Seasons Hotel because of a bomb scare. Three boxes of designer dresses were stolen from Angelina Jolie's stylist. Lindsay Lohan pointed a water gun at the paparazzi. Robert Pattinson ducked across Water Street with a hood over his head, trying to escape a throng of screaming middle-age fans.

Hugh Jackman dined with his family at Da Silvano while Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber lunched at a table nearby. Paris Hilton looked bored while smoking a cigarette and zipping around St. Tropez in a red Ferrari. Talking Heads singer David Byrne talks about almost biking over Paris Hilton in his upcoming memoir Bicycle Diaries. Anne Hathaway caught Mary Stuart with two guy friends. John Mayer sent Jessica Simpson a DVD of himself on her birthday one year.

While on break from God of Carnage, James Gandolfini is chilling on the Jersey Shore. Akon is excited for the birth of his sixth child, whose mother he impregnated while on tour in Uganda. Ne-Yo burst into tears on the stage of his U.K. concert, explaining that he's suffering from a "broken heart." Britney Spears received several death threats from some guy in Russia, so she's leaving her kids in London while she performs in St. Petersburg and Moscow. Camer
on Diaz partied with ex Jude Law at London club Boujis, though the former flames left separately.

Mika released a bubbly new single that we absolutely love. And Paula Abdul will probably not return to American Idol. Nicolas Sarkozy requested that Le Bernardin's Buddhist seafood guru, Eric Ripert, cook fillets of beef for him and U.N. President Miguel d'Escoto, and Ripert complied. Talk about a classy get-together: Kim Kardashian, Dane Cook, and Brody Jenner played poker at the Playboy Mansion. Jon Gosselin took another Kate, this one a Star magazine reporter, to dinner at the Upper East Side's Accademia di Vino on Saturday. Once the Feds finalize their approval, Madoff's Upper East Side apartment will go on the market for $7 million.

Tim Mark Garcia, the new head of PR for Marc Jacobs's menswear, is facing extradition back to the Philippines after his father stole $6.2 million in public funds, and he's been sporting his ankle bracelet to fashion parties around the city. Mischa Barton was apparently suicidal before the cops plucked her from her L.A. home last week, and production on her Ashton Kutcher–produced CW drama, The Beautiful Life, has been postponed. Diana Ross didn't attend Michael Jackson's funeral because she doesn't get along with his mother, and Janet Jackson might raise his kids. J.Lo's bodyguard refused to give Lopez's kids the
 balloons that were sent to them on the Tribeca set of her movie. And on the set of Robin Hood, Russell Crowe made an "off-color" joke about a film hand's demolished car, then felt bad and gave her $8,000 to get a new one.