Noted Republican Levi Johnston Would Not Vote for Sarah Palin for President

By

Levi Johnston is an allegory for Alaska. First seduced by the Palin family, then taken on a wild ride, and then completely abandoned, the rural hobby hunter and outdoorsman feels betrayed. By stepping down from her post as governor, Sarah Palin is "quitting on Alaska," Levi told Ann Curry this morning on the Today show. Of course, unlike the rest of Alaska, Levi could see this coming. After Palin lost the national election alongside John McCain, Levi — who was living with the Palins — "didn't see the spark in her eyes about being governor anymore." The fame "definitely got to her head," he said. She talked seriously about starring on a reality show, and about "how nice it would be to take the money and run." So, since Levi is not only an allegorical embodiment of a betrayed rural populace, but also a noted Republican analyst, Curry asked him whether he would vote for Palin for president (like seven in ten Republicans recently said they might). He said no. "If she can't handle the stress as governor, I don't think she can handle it as vice-president or president," he explained. As far as we're concerned, that's the final word — according to the Book of Levi.

Related: Read about the time Intel Chris hung out with Levi for nearly an hour and didn't call him "Sex on Skates" even once, in last week's profile in New York.