Wall Street Experiencing Shrinkage in Pre-Trading Hours

Well, the positioning could be worse. Photo: Dealbreaker.com

Normally, the pendulous balls on the bull sculpture are the most photographed sights down on Wall Street. But we’re betting that this morning it was actually the comatose body of a young man draped over the neck of the bull that was getting the most attention. An early-commuting witness snapped this image this morning and sent it to Dealbreaker. “I just took this ten minutes ago as I was about to walk into my office,” the spy reported. “That’s a kid 100 percent passed out/maybe dead, on the bull, in his briefs.” We’re going with passed out, because this reeks of an intern caught up in a really bad/stupendous bender. Here’s hoping the kid got off of there before this morning’s commuting-hour downpour. If there’s anything worse than spending the night nearly naked draped over a giant metal sculpture, it’s trying to find your way home in the rain, among everyone you hope to work for some day, shivering in only your soaking wet white briefs.

Caption Contest Friday: Anyone Missing An Intern? [Dealbreaker]