Mayor Bloomberg has “never understood why we don’t let you drink in the park,” he recently told a group of community newspapers. “I mean, you go to watch the Philharmonic, you can’t have a bottle of wine.” We agree, it’s madness! Especially since anyone who cares enough will just go ahead and drink anyway though the more timid souls at least try to be kind of sneaky about it. (“Yep, just sitting here drinking my Vitaminwater. Boy, do I love Vitaminwater. Mmm … delicious Vitaminwater.”) So why not end this ridiculous charade, once and for all, and quit making liars out of all of us? Instead of offering up promises about free, flying crosstown buses and other things we don’t actually believe will ever happen, Mayor Bloomberg, make this a pillar of your re-reelection campaign. The quickest way to voters’ hearts is through our beer guts.