Remember the heartwarming story of Lily, the five-legged puppy who narrowly escaped a life in a Coney Island freak show? At the time, freak-show owner John Strong said: "Sometimes you just gotta say, 'Okay, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on." But Strong didn't move on. Catching the tantalizing whiff of a publicity stunt, he decided to sue the former owner of the puppy, Calvin Owensby, for $4,000 for reneging his offer of a sale. And he's not suing in any ordinary court. He's suing in former New York D.A. Jeanine Pirro's television courtroom! (He'll get $300 for the appearance alone.) Owensby, who probably should have known better than to call the owner of a freak show for any reason, ever, says there were no signed contracts. Meanwhile, little Lily is living with a sweet North Carolina woman who just wanted to save the dog from a terrible life of eating marijuana roaches and rubbery Nathan's-hot-dog remnants from the sidewalks of Coney Island. Strong says that if he wins the trial, he'll next fight to get the dog back from her. Which is ridiculous, because the dog's fifth leg has already been removed. We find it very hard to believe that a grizzled freak-show owner just wants this now-normal-limbed dog merely because it's an adorable cuddly-wuddly snuggle puppy.
Well, actually, look at the damn thing. That face would crack anybody's moldy, heavily tattooed exterior.