We were skeptical about the authenticity of the Leighton Meester sex tape, even after images from said tape came to light. Without inspecting it from all angles in the Gossip Girl Situation Room, comparing the various shots to the various lingerie scenes from the show and the like, we could not verify its authenticity, and were we going to pony up the $29.99 or whatever to watch it? Hell no! We got babies to feed! Well, not really, but we do have a Dan Amira, and anyway, watching girl porn (especially in the office) is not something either Intel Chris or Jessica is inclined to do. Anyway, we felt vindicated in our decision today, when Leighton Meester denied to Bazaar that she was in the sex tape. Actually, she didn’t just deny being in the sex tape. She denied the tape’s entire existence. “[The tape] is not real,” she said.
And went on:
“I definitely understand the nature of people better now and that the mere allegation of something like that could be headline news,” she went on. “People think it’s real because somebody says it is.”
Wait, sorry, no: This isn’t like elves or God — things that people tell you exist and you believe in even though you never actually see them. People think there is a Leighton Meester sex tape because there is an actual physical tape with a girl who looks exactly like Leighton Meester on it committing acts of a sexual nature!
Now we’re suspicious. She should have just gone with: “Wasn’t me.”