‘My Private Parts Fell Out’

By

Kevin Bishop, who was caught on camera flashing a woman on an uptown 3 train last night, offered police an alternate explanation of why he was fondling himself in public: "My private parts fell out," he said, according to court documents. "I looked down and it was out, it just popped out. I was trying to put it back." Yes. It's official: "My junk is too damn big and fun-lovin' to stay inside my pants" has officially displaced "I have a wide stance" as the world's worst-ever excuse for sexual misconduct. [NYDN]