ScarJo Faces Off With Keira Knightley

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Keira Knightley thought she was a shoo-in to play Eliza Doolittle in the upcoming My Fair Lady remake, and she even started taking singing lessons to prepare. But now ScarJo, in all her Pete Yorn recording glory, is up for the role. Meanwhile, Lily Allen's going country and Kylie Minogue will be channeling Abba in Hyde Park. While shedding pounds in Rio for his upcoming Sex and the City role, Chris Noth was less than impressed by the Fasano Hotel's techno-spinning DJ, so he took the situation into his own hands and played Kiss and Prince. Madonna and Jesus visited the Western Wall and are set to meet Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Friday. Surely they will impart much wisdom upon him. And a post-brain-surgery Tara Subkoff was back in action at a Last Days of Disco screening, discussing really important matters like the fact that she and Chloë Sevigny are still close.

Lindsay Lohan has a new tattoo and drinks non-diet Coke (or at least walks around with the can). Kate Hudson and A-Rod bought matching straw hats at Cigar Innon on First Avenue. Courtney Love sported a head scarf and bell bottoms at Waverly Inn. Dancing With the Stars' Melissa Rycroft "accidentally" spritzed Miranda Kerr in the face with a bottle of her signature perfume while Kerr was walking the red carpet at a Victoria's Secret fragrance launch at the Grove in L.A. An apparently on-again Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo made out at L.A.'s the Dime. Spencer Pratt treated the entire first-class section on his flight from the Bahamas to LAX to copies of Playboy featuring his wife on the cover. And in even more horrifying news, Heidi wants to have a baby. Fortunately, Spencer is against the idea of a Speidi spawn, at least for now. And Audrina Patridge says she's leaving The Hills to pursue acting. Good luck with that.

Demi Moore is going to play an ex-model obsessed with plastic surgery in hubbie Ashton Kutcher's CW show, The Beautiful Life. Joan Rivers says that Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi was ready to rent her apartment for $200,000 a week, but then it didn't work out and "broke [her] heart." There was some intense party prep going on in Chappaquiddick island yesterday, and "Page Six" thinks it's for Chelsea Clinton's secret wedding. Remember how no one was surprised to hear that the meatpacking district's Griffin was on the verge of closing? Turns out, it's not. Katherine Heigl hosted Ellen Pompeo's baby shower. Chris Brown's mom is speaking out on behalf of her son. At least someone supports the guy. Hairdresser turned movie mogul Jon Peters has been ordered to stay 100 yards from his Superman: Man of Steel co-producer after threatening to "beat the [bleep]ing [bleep] out of [him]" and "kick [his] ass." And Heidi Klum reports that her photographer and longtime "friend" Rankin "always gets [her] to take [her] clothes off. We'll do some job … and I'll wind up without anything on." Sure, that always happens to us.