As the debate over the interrogation of terrorism detainees continues, America is grappling with difficult questions, and searching its soul for the right answers. In addition to techniques like waterboarding, recent reports reveal that some terrorism suspects were threatened with guns and power drills, while others were told that their mothers would be sexually assaulted in front of them and their children killed. Is that going too far? Do techniques like these conform to our ideals? To take another example, is it appropriate to let an eleven-foot minotaur tear terrorist suspects limb from limb in a labyrinth with “constantly shifting walls,” then add their spines to its spine pile? The Onion would like to know.