Thirty Sharks Coming to Coney Island


Even though sharks are known enemies of humans and have been known lately to have tried to attack New York’s shores, our city aquarium is moving ahead with a plan for a $100 million renovation that will include construction of two new massive shark tanks. The tanks, which will be prominently featured at Coney Island’s New York Aquarium, will have the capacity to hold more than 30 sharks. Which will be good for some reasons, if it ever comes to pass (City Hall still hasn’t made a deal with developers to decide the future of Coney Island). For example, having our children be able to study our enemies up close will give us a better chance of future survival when it comes to all-out human-shark war. And keeping them where we can see them is never a bad idea. But what these bureaucrats forget is that when they’re in a glass-walled aquarium, the sharks can see out. And when they inevitably do learn how to walk on land, God help us all. Especially those heavy kids with the cotton candy who are always tapping on the glass, because don’t think those sharks haven’t noticed they’re always lagging a little bit behind the pack.

Aquarium to Renovate With Giant Shark Tanks [NYT]