In a bold move, bedbugs have colonized the actual Health Department, the Post informs us this morning. And it's not their first attempt at taking over what must be considered, in the bedbug community, a hugely symbolic target.
"People are really upset," one worker said, adding that while it was never made public, a bedbug colony took up residence on the same site two years ago.
"They told us we were crazy," the worker said, referring to higher-ups. "I said, 'I know what I saw. I'm not crazy.'"
Well, that worker person should feel vindicated now. As it happens, his or her visions were part of a larger trend, because meanwhile, in midtown, a second set of creatures has taken over three of the the first four floors of a building at John Jay College, causing school officials to shut the doors and cancel classes. The school is playing down the seriousness of the event — they're saying the school has a condition, not an infestation. "Infestation is when you can see them swarming," spokesman Jim Grossman tells the Times, possibly hoping this vile imagery will distract us from the Truth, which is that the bedbugs are taking over everywhere and no one will be spared, especially not our office, where someone just walked by scratching their head. But we're not fooled, are we, worker person? Everyone cover yourself in Saran Wrap now!