How the Summer of Death™ Could Help End World Hunger


Yesterday our Chris Rovzar defended the Summer of Death™ theory against detractors who would argue that celebrity culture and social media are to blame for what seems like a lot more famous people kicking the bucket this year than usual. Turns out, this was the celeb-deathiest year since 1993! Then, last night, the AP weighed in with an unusually wistful stroll down SOD memory lane with an article so resoundingly final in tone that despite the hedgey “Autumn can’t come soon enough,” it has to inspire any famous person reading it to jump in their panic room and sit the next few days out. According to the internet, the fall of 2009 begins in the Northern Hemisphere at precisely 5:18 PM on Tuesday, September 22nd, a whole 73 hours from now.

Since the first celebrity to die this fall will no doubt get outsized publicity, why don’t all the celebrities file a statement with their publicists to be released in the event of their death that stipulates a worthy cause of which they want to raise public awareness? Like, just think about how much good could be done if every media organization and Twitter user had to report that “Robert Pattinson’s last word was, simply, “OxFam.” It could work!