Nuns at Convent of the Sacred Heart got their habits in a bunch over a video of their former student, Lady Gaga's, less-than-holy VMA performance. Said one source, "the good sisters were not amused." Charlize Theron sneaked out of her Burning Plain premiere before the film even started. Guess the movie's just that good. Kirsten Dunst crashed director Jane Campion's luncheon in the Oak Room because she wants a role in her next film. The LAPD arrested an 18-year-old male suspected of breaking into Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes. As if we needed further proof that Taylor Momsen's headed for LiLo-like disaster, she ventured out in a garter belt and thigh-highs. At VH1's Divas in Brooklyn last night, Paula Abdul took the stage in a full-on Ellen costume, and Miley Cyrus chatted about her totally normal childhood, like when Paul McCartney taught her to play the guitar. And Madonna's estranged brother thought she "looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong" at the VMAs, but he's probably just jealous.
Avril Lavigne dumped her hubby of three years, Sum 41 front man Deryck Whibley, which surprises no one since she's been partying without him all summer. Matt Damon says he was just peachy packing on 30 pounds for his role in The Informant!, while his wife told him there was just "more of him to love." That's devotion right there. Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are busy procreating, and Halle Berry says she's not pregnant, she just needs to "stop with the burgers," while Anna Kournikova didn't run in Sunday's Malibu Triathlon because she's two months pregnant with Enrique Iglesias's baby. Anne Heche doesn't regret calling her ex a "lazy ass" on national TV. And Amy Winehouse downed three meals in one evening. Bravo.
The Friar's Club wants to roast Kanye. Mary J. Blige hung out with Estelle and Russell Simmons at Gucci's FFAWN event. While AnnaLynne McCord and Twilight's Ashley Greene had no problem getting into Svedka's Alice + Olivia presentation the other day, the doorman didn't recognize Mena Suvari, and Fabiola Beracasa skipped the line by scaling a four-foot wall. Despite the fact that she watched a coyote snatch her maltipoo days ago, and her official search team is calling it quits, Jessica Simpson is still holding out hope that her beloved Daisy will reappear, tweeting "Why would I stop searching? I'm a mom." And two French hackers were arrested for trying to access the social networking site ASmallWorld's member database, and asking the site's owner, Harvey Weinstein, for $1 million in exchange for not releasing the names.