Daniel Craig hired a personal security guard to protect him and his six-pack while prepping for his Broadway debut in A Steady Rain, and "everybody thinks it's funny because [he] rarely gets approached by the public." Sarah Jessica Parker kicked off filming for the Sex and the City sequel in Louboutins, not Manolos. With Fashion Week drawing close, designer Derek Lam has been losing $1 million per month and his CEO only showed up to work three times in August. But Natalie Portman thinks the recession is "exciting" because it gives people time to pursue their passions. Madonna is training for a marathon in Morocco, as if her legs weren't toned enough. After boasting that he would "travel around the world with [his] own tour, as a D.J.," Jesus Luz spun to an empty dance floor and a less-than-enthused crowd in Brazil. Don't quit your day job, Jesus; no one does boy toy better than you. The Real Housewives have been going gaga over Alec Baldwin, but he only cares about Bethenny Frankel.
Hillary Clinton and President Obama will speak at Walter Cronkite's September 9 memorial, along with Katie Couric, Tom Brokaw, and Les Moonves. David Beckham forces his kids to watch the BBC so they stay "connected to their country of birth." And Victoria Beckham says she has "insecurities," which is perhaps why she always looks so angry. After Paris Jackson got a haircut in Vegas over the weekend, her security team gathered and removed all trimmed hairs from the premises to prevent them from being used for DNA paternity tests. After beating the Giants on Saturday, Jets teammates Donald Strickland and James Ihedigbo looked at matching luxury condos at the W Hoboken. And Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have been canoodling incognito, because, you know, they're such big stars that the press attention would be unbearable if they came out as a couple.
The Southampton brothel that was busted last weekend for servicing 30 to 40 men per night was partly owned by Lyle Pike, the concrete contractor who had Madame Tong's owner Ed "Jean Luc" Kleefield arrested in April for writing bad checks. Sean Paul had some $40 per ounce ishiyaki Kobe beef at Sushi Samba on Park. Richard Gere dined with his in-laws at Yama-Q in Bridgehampton. Despite a promise to pack on the pounds for her next round as Bridget Jones, Renée Zellweger's been making daily visits to her Hollywood gym. Whitney Houston apologized for her hoarse voice while singing to a crowd of 5,000 in Central Park yesterday. And Blink 182 pulled out of its Saratoga Springs concert to mourn the loss of DJ AM, who threw back eight OxyContin.
Producers told Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to keep their relationship under wraps for fear that if their real-life romance is confirmed, "Twilight fans won't buy into the screen chemistry between Taylor and Kris." LeAnn Rimes is filing for divorce. Jessica Alba keeps getting blonder. Audrina Patridge wants to be a producer on The Audrina Show to ensure that she isn't portrayed as an airhead. That might take some serious editing. Speaking of sounding like an airhead, Spencer Pratt wants to legally change his name to King Spencer Pratt. He's also threatening divorce if Heidi gets preggers. That's devotion, right there. Kanye goes topless for French magazine Liberation Next. Penn Badgley and Matthew Settle bonded with the ShamWow guy at Skylight Studio. And Blake Lively's been bouncing between Badgley and Ben Affleck, shooting scenes for both Gossip Girl and upcoming flick The Town. Tough life.