New Jersey Is a Horrible Place for Cows

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Photo: Everett Bogue; Photos: iStockphoto

We don't know why New Jersey has such harsh anti-cow policies, but over the past week this has become an undeniable fact. You may recall the heartwarming story of Molly, the cow that was granted a reprieve after escaping a Queens slaughterhouse this May. After being recaptured, Molly was sent to an organic farm on Long Island, where she is now enjoying a happy life with her boyfriend. "We always think that once they've escaped, they've earned the right to go free," a police spokeswoman told us at the time. Apparently, New Jersey doesn't subscribe to the second-chance school of thought. A bull that escaped a slaughterhouse and ran through the streets in Paterson, New Jersey, earlier today was eventually corralled by the police and ... sent back to the slaughterhouse! We guess that shouldn't surprise us, though, since in New Jersey you're also allowed to give a cow a blow job without consequence.

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