Penélope Cruz Probably Just Goes to the OB/GYN for Fun

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Madonna was spotted tying a red string around Jesus Luz's wrist at Standard Grill, though it's unclear whether the string was a Kabbalah bracelet or a child leash. Emmy Rossum has secretly been married for a year and a half, but now she's getting divorced. Kate Hudson and A-Rod got a little peeved at BLT Steak in White Plains when a fellow diner photographed them mid-meal. Victoria's Secret hired model Jessica Hart because Gisele, Heidi Klum, Karolina Kurkova, and Adriana Lima are all pregnant. Meanwhile, Penélope Cruz told Vanity Fair she was not pregnant with Javier Bardem's baby, but then the two were spotted merrily exiting an OB/GYN clinic in Madrid. The secret to Michelle Obama's biceps? She tells Prevention, "I love French fries, I like a good burger, and I like pie." But she also sticks to her 4:30 a.m. workouts. We knew there was a catch.

Lady Gaga brokered $5 billion in trades during that charity event when she sang to clients over the phone. After Conan O'Brien took a stab at Newark on the Tonight Show, Newark mayor Cory Booker, via YouTube, banned O'Brien from the Newark airport. Chelsea Clinton enjoyed a filet mignon at the Smith. Brett Ratner and Russell Simmons checked out exotic dancers at Penthouse in Hell's Kitchen on Friday night. Ratner also plans to produce a sequel to last year's documentary on Roman Polanski. Jay-Z, Russell Simmons, Tyson Beckford, and Swizz Beatz toasted Knick David Lee at the meatpacking's SL. Not a bad way to celebrate his recently signed $7 million contract. A Steady Rain on Broadway set a new record for highest weekly ticket sales of a non-musical play, probably having nothing to do with the fact that Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig are starring. TLC has renamed Jon & Kate Plus 8 Kate Plus Eight now that Jon Gosselin has decided not to return to the highly rated show. We wonder if Michael Lohan will still be his friend.

Diddy's supposedly moving his Bad Boy label from Warner Music to Interscope and will likely be looking for some fresh talent. After U2's SNL performance, Bono and his ten-person entourage waited 90 minutes for a table at Bocca di Bacco, just like common people. Then he left a generous tip on his $1,500 bill. Danielle Steel's former assistant stole $400,000 from her. Sarah Palin supposedly got $7 million for her memoir, and she's asking $100,000 to give speeches, but "the big lecture buyers in the US are paralyzed with fear about booking her, basically because they think she is a blithering idiot." Not necessarily a false claim. Citigroup's Dick Parsons is says he isn't running for governor because he's "not a spring chicken anymore."

Melissa Etheridge wants to form a lesbian coalition with Cynthia Nixon and Ellen DeGeneres. Lauren Conrad says she has no interest in watching The Hills anymore because she's "over that part of [her] life." Spencer Pratt boasts that he's more famous than the Kardashians. Talk about an accomplishment. And Stephanie Pratt is so over The Hills and has plans to leave after this season, claiming the show is "very brutal." But she also says it's "going to be so awesome. It's not going to be boring like all the other shows where they only focus on their work."