Like Scarlett Johansson wasn't already hateable enough, with her pouty lips and her throaty voice and those bosoms that just beg for the hackneyed descriptor "creamy," now she reveals that her marriage to, oh, just one of the most attractive and funny men roaming the planet right now was not a product of meticulous, Georgina Sparks–style manipulation but instead just kind of, oh, happened.
"I never really thought about getting married — it just kind of happened," the actress, 25, tells Glamour for its November issue, hitting newsstands Oct. 6. "It seemed natural, the right thing to do. It was kind of a celebration of the time."
Nice. We bet Ryan Reynolds saw that. And we bet that tonight when Scarlett lays her head on his rock-hard abs, he'll realize that it might not even have been him lying there in their Sutton Place love nest (ScarJo and RyRen are in town — it was in "Page Six" this morning; keep up). It could have just been anyone else that happened to be around. And then he'll have a sudden searing realization that his true love, Daily Intel, is in Brooklyn, whereupon he will sit straight up, knocking Scarlett to the floor by accident, grab his keys — no, wait, hail a taxi — and set off across the bridge, looking out the window at the rain falling while "If You Leave" plays softly in the background. So, yeah. That's what we bet will happen.