Today’s “Styles” section managed to wrangle enough women who pay up to $100 per session (in this economy!) with self-certified gurus to throw together a cover story about “spiritual cowgirls” — today’s “Carrie Bradshaws” (n., any female living in New York City) who are into vegetarian meditation and making vision boards and are so over yoga. But don’t worry, they’re not looking for enlightenment or anything silly like that! Relax, it’s still all about boys:
Ms. Bernstein suggested an exercise in which the woman write her ideal version of the story of her boyfriend moving in, something along the lines of: “It’s really lovely. He shows up. There’s tons of love. The move is effortless. There’s plenty of space for all his things.”
“Write the story the way you want it to happen,” Ms. Bernstein said. “Re-read the story every night until he arrives.”
And anyone who made it through to the last paragraph was rewarded with the perfect fuel for a good-old-fashioned “Styles” mimosa-spit-take (for those holdout Carrie Bradshaws who still drink them):
[Regarding a vision boardl] “And there is a cut-out banner of the Sunday Styles section of The New York Times.
Asked about it, Ms. Bernstein said she had put it up three years ago.
“I’ve been manifesting this story,” she explained.
Whew! There’s truly no goal too shallow, ladies! Keep dreaming the dream and visualizing those Jimmy Choos! (Can you hear them, tap-tap-tapping across your boyfriend’s penthouse floor? Focus!) Also: three years? Now that’s just sad. Time to get a better guru!