Kevin Zegers, the cute star of such movies as Transamerica and Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, has been cast to appear on the Greatest Show of Our Time for a multi-episode arc. According to The Hollywood Reporter, “he will play Damien, an international bad-boy love interest to Jenny Humphrey.” Okay, everybody, it’s time to play our favorite game: What Hackneyed Plot Twists Will the Gossip Girl Writers Come Up With for This Character? We’ll get you started with some ideas, based on the level of difficulty the producers want to aim for:
Basic: Damien is a sexy stranger who comes into the life of newly rich Jenny and sweeps her off her feet. Everyone warns her that he’s a bad boy, but she won’t listen. Then Jenny gets her heart broken, and then everyone goes to a fancy museum party and tosses their hair for the remaining 47 minutes of the episode.
Moderate: Same as above, except that it turns out that Damien isn’t always sneaking off to be with other girls, he’s actually going to see his ex-girlfriend, who is in a coma after a freak Jet Ski accident in Biarritz. The incident caused him to go on a downward spiral of partying and girls, but he can never seriously date anyone else as long as she clings to life, because deep down he still loves her. Then Jenny gets her heart broken and everyone goes to a fancy lawn party and tosses their hair for the remaining 37 minutes of the episode.
Advanced: Damien is, naturally, the son of Satan. Jenny gets her heart broken, Rufus gets his heart eaten, and then everyone goes to a costume party and tosses their hair for the remaining 27 minutes of the episode.