California Pageant Organizers Want Carrie Prejean’s Boobs Back

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Jeremy Piven, Seth Meyer, and Stephen Dorff shielded John Mayer from the women trying to snuggle up to him at 1Oak while Mayer celebrated his 32nd. He did, however, share his cake with model Paige Butcher, probably because she could use the extra calories. For her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt's birthday, Paris Hilton jumped out of the cake sporting a hot-pink costume and diamond mask and projected home movies of the couple on screens around her Beverly Hills home, likely traumatizing small children. Never mind that Megan Fox bashed Transformers director Michael Bay, referring to him as "Hitler," prompting the film's crew members to leak that Fox is "dumb as a rock." She now says it's an "extraordinary film" and she's "completely grateful to everyone involved with this franchise." And Sarah Palin posted her résumé on LinkedIn. She now has 500 "connections" but no job offers. Fallen beauty queen Carrie Prejean owes pageant organizers $5,200 for her breast implants, which they paid for so she could "be more competitive."

Britney Spears was supposedly looking better than ever while shooting the video for her next single, "3," a highly meaningful ode to threesomes. She opted for sushi over Dairy Queen and "even sang live with the words." We didn't know she could do that. Keep up the good work, Brit! A "hung-over and disheveled" Adrian Grenier stocked up at Park Slope Food Coop, but he probably looked that way intentionally. Sienna Miller posed in short shorts at Soho's rag & bone store opening yesterday. Jude Law took his kiddies on a Halloween shopping spree in the East Village. Minka Kelly treated boyfriend Derek Jeter and Tino Martinez to grande skim vanilla lattes before Saturday's Yankee game. And in a shockingly intelligent move, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom signed a prenup, according to which Kardashian won't be able to touch Odom's Laker money.

At Central Synagogue's "Values to Heal America" event on Sunday, Jon Gosselin stood up to ask the panel members, including Elie Wiesel, Newark Mayor Cory Booker, and TLC's Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, how he could teach his children good values despite his ugly divorce. Boteach seems to think that Gosselin has a "core decency," though the rabbi probably hasn't talking to Hailey Glassman. And the doctor who gave Octomom Nadya Suleman fertility treatments was just now kicked out of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, despite the fact that Suleman gave birth in January. The Octomom also reports that she has "a crush on Jon Gosselin." Of course she does.

TV host Bill Boggs couldn't believe how good the guy swimming next to him at the New York Athletic Club was. Turns out it was Michael Phelps. Michelle Trachtenberg tried, unsuccessfully, to steal some woman's cab at 57th and Fifth. Salman Rushdie's Padma Lakshmi–look-alike girlfriend, Pia Glenn, says Rushdie dumped her via e-mail because he was still obsessed with Lakshmi. Agyness Deyn is co-starring in a short film with Law & Order's Linus Roache, because everyone knows that models make the best actresses. And Penn Badgley admits that dating a co-star is not always "the smartest move." Does this mean there's hope for us?