Conservative Party Candidate Separates Himself From Pack of Mayoral Also-rans

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Photo: Courtesy of christopher09.com

A new Quinnipiac poll released today shows Mayor Bloomberg handily trouncing Bill Thompson in the race for mayor, expanding his lead to eighteen points among likely voters and making the election look like a "blowout," according to Maurice Carroll, director of the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute. The poll also holds good news for Conservative Party candidate Stephen Christopher, who garners more support (3 percent) than any of the other third-party candidates that will appear on the ballot, even though literally nobody has heard of him. Of course, it's a somewhat hollow victory, since he's also the only third-party candidate that Quinnipiac actually included in the poll.

Why not debate-heckler Reverend Billy, foul-mouthed rent enemy Jimmy McMillan, or revolution advocate Dan Fein? two or three of you may be wondering. Well, for what it's worth, here's an explanation from Douglas Schwartz, director of the Quinnipiac University Poll: "It is a judgment call," Schwartz told us, "based on the fact that the Conservative Party is more recognized than other third parties and that it has at least a semblance of an organization which could appeal to Conservatives and Republicans who don't think Bloomberg is 'right' enough." Luckily for Bloomberg, something wild and unprecedented has to happen before that 3 percent actually matters.