Sick people and stoners masquerading as sick people, rejoice! The Justice Department will leave you alone if you’re selling, buying, or using pot in accordance with the laws of your state, according to its new guidelines. Probably! While noting that prosecuting cancer-stricken grannies legally enjoying the benefits of medical marijuana might not be the absolute best use of the federal government’s limited resources, the government still reserves the right to someday send a team of DEA agents crashing through your windows if it deems it necessary. Still, tokers in the fourteen states (not New York) that have some kind of medical-marijuana legislation on the books will have one less source of paranoia when they light up today. So take that, liberal-socialist-hipster-SNL whiners!