There are three things we know Jamie Dimon would never do: Screw someone else's wife, steal from the blind, and poach employees from struggling companies, no matter how big a jerk he thinks their boss is and how hard he's tempted. Actually, we don't know, maybe he would do the first two things. But he definitely wouldn't do the latter. Why do we know this? Because the JPMorgan CEO is a famously soft, pillowy-lipped angel-hero — where have you been? Also, he said today at the Securities Industry and Financial Markets Association meeting in New York: “I morally have an issue with people going against those companies that are hamstrung. It’s wrong to say, ‘Let’s go hire the best people.’ We’re not going to do that.” In fact, from now on, JP Morgan will only hire orphans, lepers, and the adorably disenfranchised. That's how good Jamie is.
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