Last night at a Fleshbot Awards party at the Box, a woman dressed as a woman-size vagina writhed onstage, and the former potential first son-in-law and soon-to-be Playgirl model Levi Johnston wriggled uncomfortably. Dressed in a suit and sandwiched between two very large men (one of whom is his manager, Tank), Mr. Johnston stood next to Playgirl editor Daniel Nardicio and prepared to accept his (slightly premature) Fleshbot award for Best Mainstream to Porn crossover. When the award was announced, by Justin Bond and Jonathan Cameron Mitchell — “Here you go, Levi darling,” purred Mr. Black — Johnston stood at the podium while Nardicio clutched the silver dildo award and beamed. “Make sure you buy Playgirl next month,” said Johnston, stiffly, before flashing a peace sign and beating a hasty retreat. We sent not one but two reporters from New York to catch this hot mess. And thank goodness. We don’t know if just one would have had the guts to ask Levi the size of his penis.
Is all of this overwhelming for you? Do you feel like a small guy in a big city?
I run this city. It ain’t no thang.
What do you hope to get out of all of this attention, travel, and talking to the press?
My main goal is to start acting and move forward in that direction.
So have you started auditioning and taking any acting classes?
I’ve had offers to do movies, but I am not going to do anything until I do a couple of classes in L.A.
God, I feel weird asking this, but our friends on Facebook want us to ask you: How big is your penis?
A lot of people ask that, but you’re just going to have to wait until next week when the magazine comes out. You will have to wait and see. I’m sorry, you’re going to have to.
But you’re in pretty great shape?
Well, I’m not in the best shape of my life. I’ve came a long way in two months, man, and we worked hard and did everything we could, so I’m ready for it.
Are you going to keep your Playgirl physique?
Oh yeah, man, I’m not going to stop after this. There’s a lot more to come.
What do you think of the job Barack Obama is doing as president?
I don’t really pay attention to politics now that Sarah is gone, but I think he is doing a lot better than Sarah would have done, so I give him props.
Have you gotten to see your son lately?
Not lately. But I’ve been on the road a lot and she’s been doing her own thing, so it’s been tough, but I guess it’s not as much as I’d like.
In three months, what will we be talking about when we talk about you?
I’d love to tell you, but it’s just got to stay secret or else those deals could be off. I’m just going to say that in the next three months, you’re going to be really excited about my career. I think my career is going to really take off and give me that big start.
Will music have anything to do with it?
That will be part of it. You’re good.
Are you going to be a rapper?
A little country.
Who is your favorite country singer?
I don’t know, I’ve always been a fan of Kenny Chesney and all of them. They’re all great and I give them all props. I’ve come a long way and I’ve worked hard for it.