Ivanka and her mother were on The View this morning promoting whatever it is they promote. They were on there for like five seconds before Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s beady eyes zeroed in on the newly wedded heiress’s ring finger and found it shockingly bare. Where was Ivanka’s wedding ring?!?! she asked. How would Ivanka possibly keep it in her head that she was inextricably bound to another human being (or maybe not inextricably, exactly, but bound enough that extrication would require two teams of lawyers) without a giant yoke of metal around her finger to weigh her down, reminding her of this fact? Ivanka attempted to explain: “I was engaged for three months and then I’ve been married around eight days, so it’s sitting on my bedside table.” A likely story. Clearly, this marriage is doomed.