Robert Pattinson tells Vanity Fair that he and Kristen Stewart were never an offscreen item, and Stewart confirms, "It's so retarded. We're characters in this comic book." She also vents about the woes of being a celebrity, and is sick of people comparing her to Angelina Jolie. Talk about problems. Meanwhile, director Catherine Hardwicke swears there's a "nervous attraction" between Stewart and Pattinson. Not that she'd say that to hype an upcoming sequel or anything. Lindsay Lohan's getting over Samantha Ronson like any other starlet would: by making out with Gerard Butler. The duo locked lips on the dance floor at the Sol Kerzner Mazagan Beach Resort launch in Morocco, then left together in the wee hours of the morning. Kate Hudson clarifies that her new ring has nothing to do with an engagement to A-Rod, but she is having a tough time going off booze for an upcoming movie role. And Jude Law has yet to meet his month-old daughter, but he did manage to hook up with a "hot blonde" at the Box on Saturday night.
Rihanna describes the media chaos surrounding her Chris Brown scandal by saying she "went to bed as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears." She also partied with Ne-Yo in a tiger costume "with a tail so long a security guard had to hold it up" at M2's Halloween bash, avoiding Mariah Carey, who held court with Nick Cannon in the club's VIP area. Shania Twain and Billy Joel celebrated their divorces backstage at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concert Thursday night. A characteristically "wobbly" Mischa Barton avoided her ex, Brandon Davis, at a party on Mercer Street. After breaking up with Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman is back on the market and notes that a guy's sense of humor is important to her, explaining, "I wish it wasn't, because it really narrows down the playing field, and it usually narrows it down to fucked-up freaks. But I don't even know how to talk to someone who isn't funny." And after Kelly Rutherford filed a restraining order against her soon-to-be ex-husband, he threatened to write a tell-all about their marriage.
Some women avoid airplanes while pregnant, but Gisele's getting her pilot's license. Ryan Seacrest has an Army Reserve stalker who's facing up to four years in prison. Courtney Love said she moved to New York because her employees kept staging "bogus police raids" on her Malibu home. But it was actually just her drug counselor trying to stage interventions. Gordon Ramsay is going to be completely revolutionary and host a competitive cooking reality show called Master Chef. Ashley Tisdale got a parking ticket after tweeting about her lunch with Zac Efron. And Michael Lohan's been so busy telling the press about how he's going to save LiLo from her drug problem that he hasn't had time to actually do it. But she just thinks he's a "lunatic."