If you ask us, and we suppose you did because here you are, short of “things going back to the way they were,” all the American people really want from Goldman Sachs is an apology for its role in the financial crisis. If they look down deep, they don’t really care about the billions of dollars siphoned from them via the AIG bailout — it’s all too abstract. All they want is some acknowledgment. Someone to say, “I fucked up, and I’m sorry, and I love you.” (And, ok, maybe also, “And here’s a million dollars,” but they know in their heart of hearts that’s not possible.) Anyway, today, Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein finally took his first genuine step toward contrition.
“We participated in things that were clearly wrong and have reason to regret,” Blankfein, 55, said at a conference in New York hosted by the Directorship magazine. “We apologize.”
Well, aw, that’s nice, but wait — hang on — with all due respect, this is not going to do. After months of this, all Lloyd can offer is the royal we? If Lloyd truly wants forgiveness, then he better get down off his high horse and break out the Big I. As in, “I, Lloyd Blankfein, am sorry,” preferably on bended knee, accompanied by fat rolling tears down those adorably pudgy cheeks. On television. One of those half-hour-long network deals that Obama does. Come on, Lloyd. You can afford it.