Don’t Worry, Nicolas Cage Is On Top of the Somali Pirate Problem

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Photo: Getty Images

As we mentioned earlier, a gang of Somali pirates attacked the Maersk Alabama this morning, in a move some think might have been an act of revenge after U.S Navy snipers killed four pirates who held the ship hostage this past summer. Not to fear, the AP is now reporting. A U.N. Ambassador with experience dealing with hardened criminals has been dispatched to Africa, where he has been meeting with suspected pirates at the Shimo le Tewa prison in Mombasa, Kenya. That ambassador? Nicolas Cage, the star of the movies Face/Off and The Rock.


Cage, a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador on Drugs and Crime, told The Associated Press Television News on Tuesday that he wanted to meet with some of the suspected Somali pirates, hear their stories and understand what is fueling piracy off the Somali coast.

''Then I'm in a position where I can actually make some sense and talk about it when I go back to the States where I go talk to different U.N. councils and discuss the matter,'' Cage said.

Right, because the first step is really understanding ... Wait, no, what? We don't understand this at all? Why is Nicolas Cage in Mombasa and not at home taking care of his tax problem? Why is he less articulate than Caitlin Upton? Has he been chewing on those funky leaves they have over there? We wish we were dreaming this, but clearly it is all too real.

Nicolas Cage Visits Kenyan Jail to Talk to Pirates [AP via NYT]