Chace Crawford Pretends to Text in Awkward Situations

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A-Rod celebrated his breakup from Kate Hudson by partying away his weekend in Miami at the W and the Fontainebleau, announcing to a slew of ladies, "I'm definitely single." Kate Hudson, meanwhile, spent three hours gyrating in the window of Tracy Anderson's Tribeca studio. Tony Galea, the Canadian doctor who performed medical procedures on both A-Rod and Tiger Woods, is now under criminal investigation for drug violation. Meanwhile, a privacy-hungry Woods might seek refuge in France. Jude Law and Sienna Miller are officially back together and plan to co-habitate in London this spring. Courtney Love lost legal guardianship of her 17-year-old daughter with Kurt Cobain. Chace Crawford played Blake Lively and Penn Badgley's third wheel at Hillstone on Park Avenue, where he stayed half an hour after they left, sitting solo at the bar while nursing a glass of red wine and "texting."

Beyoncé bounced out of her seat during Saturday's performance of Fuerza Bruta: Look Up, joining dancers to stomp on large platforms onstage. Jay-Z refrained from getting in on the action. Giuseppe Cipriani downed Dom Perignon at Greenhouse with Tara Reid, then left the club as Reid partied with Lionel Richie. Jimmy Fallon entertained cast and crewmembers at the SNL holiday party by moonwalking and busting into his own renditions of "Billy Jean" and "Man in the Mirror," garnering him a standing ovation from Lorne Michaels. Napster and Facebook co-founder Sean Parker celebrated his birthday by raising over $60,000 for Malaria No More, partying at his West Village townhouse with Val Kilmer, Oliver Stone, Sean Lennon, and Lucy Liu. And John Mayer is "freaked out" by his dating track record, noting that "for some reason, whoever I date has been famous for a while." Isn't that curious.

A 58-foot-tall billboard of a naked Bethenny Frankel will be unveiled today at Broadway and 53rd as part of PETA's campaign. She's "excited to know that [she'll] be there on a billboard while everybody is doing their Christmas shopping and celebrating the New Year." Her pregnant belly, however, was airbrushed out. Rihanna chats about finally getting over Chris Brown while posing topless in booty shorts for GQ, and Chris Brown quit Twitter after an angry tweeting tirade against the evils of Wal-Mart. Michael Lohan was thrown into a Long Island jail yesterday for trying to call an ex-girlfriend who has a restraining order against him. Mary-Kate Olsen went holiday shopping around the city with her mother. New Kid on the Block Joey McIntyre tweeted about his new kid; his wife gave birth yesterday. When asked about Scientology on the BBC's Andrew Marr Show, a typically composed Nicole Kidman sputtered, "I just don't … This is just so not … I'm here to publicize Nine." And a faux-bronzed Kelly Osbourne can't stop gushing about her self-tanning lotion. Probably because St. Tropez brand fake tanner is paying her to do so.