Getting a profile in OK! when you are the subject of much scandal speculation is such a wonderful thing. First, they pay you for "pictures," then they go into your home and photograph you posing among your stuff, as opposed to stumbling around the street with bedhead and a venti Starbucks on your way home from a celebrity's house. They even hide your weird eye! Then they talk to you about whatever you want to talk about, as opposed to what everybody wants to know about. For example, when OK! profiled alleged Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel, they let her talk about the media, and her job, and how she didn't sleep with him — when what we are curious about now is whether she's a high-flying pimp and drug dealer who followed Tiger Woods around the world to make sure he was always provided with whatever he wanted — women, substances, access, and entertainment. That's what AJ Daulerio has reported over at Deadspin, having spoken to some of Uchitel's fellow VIP nightclub promoters. Daulerio argues that it's unlikely that Uchitel and fellow Vegas-based alleged mistress Kalika Moquin were regularly sleeping with Woods, but that they were more in the position of professional providers.
Meanwhile, back in Tiger Woods's house, Star magazine claims that not only did his wife, Elin Nordegren, confront alleged mistress Jaimee Grubbs on the day of the fateful Thanksgiving crash, but she also confronted Uchitel. It was the latter confrontation that led to the accident. Apparently, she threw her cell phone at Tiger, chipped his tooth, and then "grabbed a golf club and chased him around the house, doing tens of thousands of dollars of damage, a source told the magazine. (Now remember, people, the Woods family is famous for its privacy and doesn't have many, if any, people "close" to them who talk to tabloids. So take all these stories with a grain of salt.)
In other news, according to the Post, Tiger personally sponsored Jamie Jungers's liposuction. And Pepsi has dropped their Tiger Woods Gatorade flavor. Isn't it funny how every single element of this insane dramedy involves money? And lots of it?