Back in March, we had a lot of fun imagining the breakup scene between Levi “Sex on Skates” Johnston and Bristol “Daughter of Sarah” Palin. And we would have been forced to resort to our imagination to flesh out the proceedings of their custody court battle, had a judge not ruled last week that it would not be carried out in secret. Despite Palin’s appeal to keep the case under wraps and use pseudonyms to conceal the identities of the couple and their 1-year-old child, Tripp, an Alaska Superior Court judge sided with Johnston, who wanted an open proceeding because he did not “feel protected against Sarah Palin in a closed proceeding.” Johnston said in an affidavit that he hoped “that if it is open she will stay out of it. Bristol’s attorney is her attorney.” Now the suit, which was filed by Bristol in November, will continue in the public eye.
This means that ugly details will be put out into the open. Like, for example, the fact that Levi’s mother, Sherry Johnston, will probably be barred from unsupervised visits with the baby because she’s currently serving out a three-year drug sentence in home confinement for dealing Oxycontin. Or that Bristol alleges Levi used Twitter to seek out marijuana (he claims the messages were sent by an impostor). Or that Bristol thinks Johnston’s recent photo shoot with Playgirl was “risque.”
Well, hopefully the ensuing twists and turns of the case will be a little more interesting. Because if a fake Twitter and Johnston’s penisless Playgirl shoot are the most salacious details we’re going to get, then we’d have rather made the whole thing up on our own, thank you very much.