Mayor Bloomberg has named Sal Cassano, a 40-year veteran of the FDNY and currently the department's highest-ranking uniformed official, as the city's new fire commissioner. It had been speculated that the mustacheless and testicleless Mylan Denerstein was on the short list for the post, and the very possibility of her appointment scared the hell out of men who willingly submit themselves to burning death traps on a regular basis. [NY1]